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Meghan\'s Heart

Memorial created 10-27-2010 by
Mari Lombardi
Meghan Mari Ahearne
February 6 1982 - July 28 2010

Meghan and Neuman

This online memorial was created in loving memory of Meghan Ahearne, whose life story is told throughout this memorial website. Please sign Meghan's guest book and let us know you came to visit. We will remember Meghan forever.

Meghan Mari Ahearne was born February 6, 1982.  She loved to draw and could create media quality pictures of Garfield by the time she was five. Meghan had the brightest smile.  She lit up every room she entered.  Even though Meghan constantly fought her demons from the age of 14, she had a huge heart and would lend a hand to anyone who asked, sometimes to her own detriment.  We love and miss her dearly each and every day. 

Depression is an illness, It is not invited or wished for. It is a disease that ravages the mind as cancer ravages the body. It is difficult to recognize. It is difficult to diagnose. It is difficult to treat. My daughter died from suicidal depression.  If you have lost a loved one to suicide please visit the website for parents of suicides and friends and family of suicides at www.pos-ffos.com.  They provide tremendous support and help for those of us left behind.

The pain that she felt before her passing is now felt by the many who have been left behind. Let us recognize that the face of suicide is among us. Let us accept that suicidal depression is an illness that needs to be fought.

 

 

 

Jason and Meghan

Meghan loved her family with all her heart.  She took joy in her niece, Baylyn, and loved to write to her Grandma Peachy.  She took pleasure in making people smile and had a wicked sense of humor.

Meghan wore the locket pictured below.  Her boyfriend, Jason, wrote the poem below after he found a piece of paper in a locket she wore often.  The words on the front of the paper said "Dear God, Let me be okay".  On the back was written, "Let me do the right thing".

 

Inside Meghan's locket

Morning Meghan

Everyday I ask God to give me a reason to live
and everyday God gives me one.
Some days it was big, some days it was small,
and when signs were small, they caused the most awe.
Some days I’d just felt it and don’t see it at all.
Every once in awhile, it was Meghan’s smile
Meghan’s smile would chase my clouds away.
So every day, I would make the girl laugh.

Some days were good and some days were bad,
but the good days were some of the best I ever had.
On bad days, I memorized  the Serenity prayer.
When things were too much to bear, she was there
She’d rub my back and sing me sweet serenades  
and it made me feel like everything would be okay
and for a little while, all the world's problems, just went away
and now......................................... she’s passed away.

Dear God, let me be okay

Little Irish girl and Russian vodka bottle
She lost the war, but fought a valiant battle
Addiction and depression can be a lethal combination.
Booze became the answer, back in her teens,

black outs that vaporized realities like dreams
Inward anger turned to outward rage.
The ones she loved most, got the most hate
and let me tell you, she loved me a lot.
Bad things happen when you run out of hope
I’ve been there,............. I know.
Depression is like quicksand, and
sometimes you can’t see outreached hands
when you think you are alone in the dark

Dear God, let me be okay

Every night before I go to sleep,
I pray that I see her in a dream.
Life is now a sad sad song on repeat.
I’m hollow, so hollow.
I’m hollow, so hollow.
I’m empty, like I may just implode.
I feel like I’m lost and don’t know where to go.                                    
Every song I hear, everywhere I go,
 everything i do and everything i see
 reminds me that, she’s not here with me.
This mo(u)rning, there ain’t no Sunshine.                                                 
Inside jokes that no longer have punchlines.
The memories of sunshine and rain flood my mind.
I’m cold and alone in the midst of summer time.
But...
Everyday I ask God to give me a reason to live,
and everyday God gives me one.

 

 

Meghan lived in California and used to babysit for her cousin Danielle.  Danielle's two boys, Ethan and Jeremy loved Meghan.  After Meghan passed away, Ethan wrote this touching tribute to Meghan as a class assignment.  The assignment was to write about an incident that changed your life.

 

 
One More Time
 
            “Meghan died.” Those two words changed my life. It was Thursday afternoon, and I was very stressed. Soccer tryouts were that night, and I had a track meet on Sunday. The pressure was on me, and I felt as If the most important time of my life was now. I spent the whole day thinking about how I would play at my soccer tryout, and what my race-plan was for my track meet. 
            “Meghan died,” changed all that. All of the sudden, soccer and running weren’t important at all. I forgot about my tryout, and even my big race. All I could think about was Meghan. Meghan was my twenty-eight year old cousin. She was young, pretty, and had her whole life ahead of her.   Now she was gone. The room seemed to close in around me. My ears pounded, and the only thing I could hear was the sound of my mom crying. Memories began to flood through my mind; all of the times I spent with Meghan. I could remember being babysat by her when I was young. I could hear our voices singing happy birthday to her for her twenty-first birthday. I could smell the turkey being cooked for Thanksgiving dinner, and I could feel the rush of playing soccer with her cheering me on from the sidelines. So many memories, and suddenly, I truly realized, none of that would ever happen again. 
            It’s hard to think that I will never see Meghan again. You don’t expect to come home to a dead family member, but most likely, someday you will. This made me extremely thankful for the life that I, and the rest of my family, still have.  It made me realize what was truly important in life. The things that you think are really important, like soccer and running, pale in comparison to a life.   I now want to spend a lot more time with my family and friends. You never think something like this is going to happen to you until it does. I wish I could see Meghan again, and tell her I love her one more time.

 

 

In Arthurian legend, the Fisher King is a mighty warrior who once received a wound that, while not lethal, could never be healed. To outlive your child is to receive just such a wound, knowing it will pain you throughout your days and, ultimately, be the true cause of your death. I am already fatally wounded, now it is only a question of timing.

 

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